


Fear and Rage

by boredom



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Protective Shiro (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Team as Family, broganes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 06:25:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15333798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boredom/pseuds/boredom
Summary: Shiro isn't afraid of much, but he is terrified of one thing. And he's about to face that fear whether he likes it or not. However, aliens aren't used to human reactions to fear, and maybe that'll be enough for him to break out.





	Fear and Rage

**Author's Note:**

> This is sad y'all. I may have cried while writing this.

Shiro sighed and scratched another tick mark on the wall. He felt like he was in a movie, counting the number of days he was in prison with tick marks neatly grouped into sets of five. He didn’t know if knowing the number of days he had been stuck here was making his stay better or worse. 

He thought about it for a moment.

Worse, he decided. If he knew when he would leave this place, then the tick marks would serve as some sort of countdown, but given that he was prisoner for life, they instead served as a depressing reminder of the days he had lost. He had missed Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, summer, fall, winter, and spring. He had missed the new menu items fast food restaurants created to entice customers. He had missed new TV shows and movies, as well as the sending off of old shows. Each tick mark was another reminder of all the things that he wasn’t experiencing back on Earth and he hated it. 

He supposed, he could just give up, let himself die like so many that had passed through here. He was sure no one would blame him; it had been over a year at this point and his head was fuzzy and pieces of his life, as well as himself, were missing. He couldn’t leave though, he couldn’t give up. Haggar wanted something and she was going to do anything to get it, and that’s what worried Shiro. 

He had heard her talking with the other druids about something called Voltron. For some reason, Haggar had decided that Shiro was a part of it and was constantly torturing him for information, information he didn’t have. That wasn’t the worst part, though, the worst part was what she found out about his life back on Earth. 

She had found out about Keith. 

She had threatened Shiro with his safety and it was all Shiro could do to hold on. If he died, Keith would be next, he was sure of it. Haggar had convinced herself that Keith was also connected to this Voltron thing and made it clear that she was willing to go after him if Shiro didn’t give her what she wanted. So Shiro did what they asked, even if he had no idea what Voltron was or how he could help. The pain didn’t stop, the sessions didn’t stop, but Haggar did seem to lose interest in Keith, happy that Shiro was finally starting to cooperate. The only problem? He wasn’t sure how much longer he could last. 

The door hissed open and Haggar, flanked by two sentries, stepped into the cell. Odd, she didn’t usually come get Shiro personally. He steadied his thoughts and started going through the possible reasons she was here. He didn’t like the answer to any of them. 

“You haven’t been doing enough.” Her voice echoed through the room. 

Shiro grit his teeth but forced himself to remain calm. He couldn’t risk upsetting her, not when Keith’s life was on the line. “I’ve done everything you’ve asked me. Maybe if I had more information, I could-”

“Silence!” 

Shiro was hit with her lightening, the electricity surging through his body and causing him to fly across the room, landing painfully on his injured side. 

“You don’t need information. You’re holding back on us, champion,” she hissed. “What you need is incentive.”

Shiro couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Were the torture sessions not ‘incentive’ enough? What more could they possibly do to him?

“Come, I have something to show you. Maybe then you’ll actually do what we ask.” She turned on her heels and left the room. 

Shiro lay on the floor, trying to regain his breath and focus his fuzzy vision. He was just about to push himself off the floor, knowing that it was better if he didn’t argue with Haggar, when one of the sentries grabbed his arm and yanked him off the floor. 

“Ah, I’m coming. I’m coming. No need to be so rough,” Shiro said, his voice slurring slightly. If he ever did get out of here and back to Earth, he was going to have one hell of a recovery period. Were Earth psychologists even trained to deal with this level of fucked-up abuse? Was this even comparable to other POWs they helped? 

He managed to regain his footing and limped behind Haggar. He was pretty sure his broken leg hadn’t healed properly, and it was going to be a bitch to walk on if something wasn’t done about it soon. Ulaz, one of the doctors, usually did a better job about patching him up, almost like he felt empathy for Shiro, but he hadn’t been around lately. 

They continued walking through the halls, turning down corridors and going deeper and deeper into the ship. Shiro had never been to this part before, at least, not while he was conscious. It looked similar to the other sections of the ship, but the smell was slightly different. If Shiro didn’t know any better, he’d say it smelled like death, if that even had a smell. 

He almost asked where they were going, but then thought better of it. Haggar wouldn’t answer him anyways. 

They stopped by an inconspicuous looking door, but Shiro’s heart was beating faster anyways. There was nothing inconspicuous about this ship. There was something behind this door, something Haggar was sure would get Shiro to fully cooperate with them. Shiro wanted to remind them that he was fully cooperating with them, and that it wasn’t his fault they didn’t seem to know what they were doing. 

Haggar turned to look at him. “I warned you, Champion, I wouldn’t be so lenient forever.” 

Shiro snorted at this.

Haggar made no sign that she heard him and continued on. “Clearly, the punishments you’ve been receiving haven’t been enough, so I’ve taken the liberty of showing you how much worse things could be for you.” 

The door hissed open to reveal a pitch black room. Shiro hesitated, but one of the sentries kicked him in. He stumbled through the door and fell to his knees. The door closed with a hiss, enveloping him in darkness.

“A few hours in there should be more than enough to refocus your efforts,” Haggar said. 

Shiro snorted again. He’d been left in the dark before, it didn’t do anything. They were probably just running out of ways to hurt him. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the metal. At least he might be able to get some sleep in here. 

The lights flickered on. Looks like he wasn’t so lucky. He sighed and figured he might as well look around the space to see if there was anything he could occupy himself with while he was in here. 

He opened his eyes. His heart stopped. He squeezed his eyes shut. 

“No, that’s not possible. It’s not real.” He whispered to himself. His mind had taken to playing tricks on him recently. Audio and visual hallucinations were a symptom of PTSD. It was just his own mind playing tricks on him. 

He took a deep breath and opened them again. The figure that was sprawled on the floor in a pool of blood was still there. Shiro bit down on his left knuckles, the pain exploding as he tried to stop himself from panicking. 

“Please, please don’t let it be him.” 

The figure was turned on his side, facing away from Shiro. His back wasn’t rising or falling, which meant that he wasn’t breathing, which meant that he was dead. Shiro forced himself to crawl forward. Part of him wanted to close his eyes and turn away from the figure, pretend that it was just a hallucination. The other part of him wanted to see if what he was seeing was true. That was the part that won. 

He came to the figures side and let out a sob. “Keith?” It was definitely him, Shiro could see his face now. His eyes were closed, almost like he was sleeping, except there were bruises and burns and cuts all over his body. His lip was split and it seemed as though his nose had been broken, with dried blood caking the top of his lip and chin. 

“It’s not real. Haggar can make illusions. It’s not real,” Shiro said over and over again, rocking back and forth slightly and trying to keep a grip on his mind. 

He reached his left fingers forward, hesitating just above Keith’s temple before brushing them through his hair. His hand didn’t go through. It hit Keith’s skin. Shiro let out another cry and slumped forward, brushing his hand over Keith’s face, feeling every cut and bump that had been inflicted on him. He was so cold and stiff. Keith was never cold. Every time Shiro had touched him he was always like the hot sand of the desert. It wasn’t right. 

“Keith, please, please wake up,” he sobbed. Keith didn’t move. His entire body slack and slumped over. 

Shiro pulled his body into his chest, hugging him tightly and running his fingers through his hair. Keith didn’t hate to be hugged, but he never knew how to ask for one. Once Shiro gave him the go-ahead, he was very clingy and seemed to relish even the smallest touches. 

Now, his head lolled back and his arms dangled limply at his sides. His body was heavy and there was no sign of a heartbeat or breathing. 

“No, this isn’t happening. I did everything.” Shiro squeezed his body in his arms, kissing the top of Keith’s head and trying to calm himself. It was no use, everything he had done, everything he had put up with, it was all to protect Keith and now he was gone. Matt, Dr. Holt, and now Keith all gone because of these monsters. His worst nightmare had come true and Shiro couldn’t help but feel that this was all his fault. 

If he had been stronger... If he had recognized the galra ship sooner... If he had been more useful to Haggar…

And now, now the kid he considered to be his little brother, the kid he had tried so hard to help and keep safe and just give him a chance at living a normal and happy life, was dead. Worse, he had been tortured before he had been killed. 

How long had he been on this ship? Why hadn’t Haggar told Shiro? Surely, him knowing Keith was here would have been more useful than killing him and leaving Shiro with his body for a few hours. 

Shiro’s sobs slowly died down. He loosened his grip on Keith’s body and lay him down, resting his head in his lap. He was so small and he felt so cold. Shiro wished he had something more than this slave uniform, a jacket or something because Keith shouldn’t be cold. He shouldn’t have died in pain. He shouldn’t have died at all. His life was hard enough and now he died, probably scared and alone and calling out for Shiro to come help him, but Shiro didn’t come. He didn’t save him. He abandoned him and let him down just like everyone else and now he was dead. 

Shiro continued to run his fingers through Keith’s hair. It had gotten long since he last saw him. Then again, he hadn’t seen Keith for over a year. 

“I’m so sorry, Keith. I’m so sorry.” Tears welled up in his eyes. Haggar had wanted to break him, and leaving him in here with Keith’s body was probably a good way to do it. 

However, Shiro felt something else burning inside him, anger. No, that wasn’t a good enough word, rage. And hatred. He felt unbridled fury and the need for revenge well up inside of him. He didn’t just want to kill Haggar, he wanted to make her hurt, to make her scream and feel everything she had put him through. Maybe the galra or other species would be content with just sitting in room with their dead loved-ones for a few hours, but humans were different. 

Haggar didn’t succeed in breaking Shiro. Maybe after this was all done he’d fall into a depression, but right now, he was running on adrenaline and wanted to hurt something. 

He looked back down at Keith’s face and brushed his hand against his cheek. He’d clean Keith up later and give him a proper burial. He took a deep breath and swallowed his tears. Right now he needed to focus on ripping Haggar’s head from her body and then doing the same to every guard, sentry, and soldier that crossed his path. 

Shiro gently laid Keith back on the floor. “I promise, I’ll make this right,” he said before turning and making his way to the door. 

His galra arm burned white hot, seeming to have activated with his rage, ready to fight. If Haggar had wanted to get him to cooperate with her, to give her what she wanted, she had failed, miserably, and now Shiro was going to take down this entire goddamn empire with his bare hands. And when he got to Zarkon, he was going to throw Haggar’s fucking head at him before ripping out the man’s heart, just to see if he had one. 

He pulled back his galra arm, and smashed it into the door. The entire room shook and the lights flickered. He pulled it back again, and smashed the door again. There was a nice sized-dent and the guards would probably start running to the room any second now. He hit the door, again and again and again. Each time the room was shaking and the lights were flickering. However, it wasn’t getting darker, it was getting lighter, like when a camera flashed, momentarily blinding you. He kept hitting, and the flashes of light were sustaining themselves longer. He let out a roar and smashed his fist into the door. It connected and he felt another jolt of electricity shoot through his body and his vision turned white. 

“Shiro!” A voice called. 

“Shiro, can you hear us?”

“Guys, maybe we should back up, his arm’s on.”

Shiro’s head felt like it had been split open with a jackhammer and his vision was slowly coming back, albeit spotty and still a bit too out of focus and bright. 

“I’ve never seen someone break out like that before.”

Shiro blinked a few times and saw a grey, stone ceiling above him. He let out a groan.

“You need to be quiet, I’m still not sure if I want to trust you or not.”

Shiro felt like he recognized that voice. He searched his mind to find some memory of the person. He finally settled on an image and a name. “Allura?” 

Her face appeared above his, her eyes filled with worry. “Oh, Shiro, thank goodness you’re awake. Are you alright? How do you feel?” 

Shiro rubbed a hand over his face and turned to his side, trying to push himself up. 

“Easy, we’re not sure what the side effects are.” Lance came to his side and helped sit him up.

“Side effects? What side effects?” Now that he was feeling more awake, he realized that he was sitting in what looked to be a concrete room with one rusty door across from him. 

“Well, our dear host, the Queen,” Allura glared at an alien woman standing in one corner of the room, “seemed to forget to tell us that a portion of her people supported the galra.”

“They managed to grab you and put you into something they call a fear room.” 

Shiro felt his heart beat in his chest and he turned to see Keith, bayard out and looking pissed. More importantly, he was alive. He wasn’t dead, the galra never got him and killed him. Shiro wanted to run and hug him and just cry but restrained himself. Keith liked being hugged, but he was NOT okay with overt public displays of affection. 

“Fear room?” Shiro let Hunk and Allura pull him to his feet and lead him out of the concrete room. He was happy to feel his ankle wasn’t still broken and had healed properly. 

“They’re rooms designed to torture POWs,” Pidge added helpfully. She also looked pissed and kept shooting daggers at the queen. “Basically they’ll put you in there and whatever your greatest fear is, you’ll see.” 

Ah, so that explains some of the inconsistencies with Haggar’s plan. Shiro felt bile rise in his throat and decided now was probably not the best time to be dissecting what he had seen. It was too traumatizing and he needed to be on his guard here, especially since there seemed to be a faction of...Shiro wanted to say Karafians...that wanted to aid the galra and not Voltron. 

“I am very impressed. We’ve never had someone break out before the session was over with. Humans must be a very strong and very terrifying race,” the Queen said. She seemed too calm for Shiro’s liking. If he had discovered that some of his people kidnapped and tortured someone who was trying to help them, he’d be pissed. And if he had to face down Allura, well, he’d be terrified of her wrath. 

“How did you break out?” Lance asked, handing Shiro what he hoped was some water. 

He thought about it. Really, it was the rage that had enabled him to break out. He wanted to hurt someone but the fear room wasn’t equipped to handle a situation that complex, or handle Shiro’s reaction to seeing his worst nightmare come true. He didn’t really want to tell the group about what he had seen though. Keith would be embarrassed by Shiro’s reaction to his death and it definitely felt like something Shiro wanted to keep private. More than that, though, he was ashamed at his reaction. He was supposed to be a calm, level-headed leader but he let himself get caught up in revenge. He didn’t want to just kill Haggar and be done with it, he wanted to hurt her, to torture her, and that side of him scared him.

What if Keith found out? He had been with violent guardians before so to know that Shiro was capable of making someone feel pain on purpose, it would frighten him. 

Shiro shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess when I saw my greatest fear, I wanted to do something about it. I wasn’t paralyzed by it.” 

The Queen nodded. “Then humans truly are a terrifying race. Most creatures would be paralyzed by their worst fear, and yet you seem to let it push you.” 

“What can I say. I wasn’t going down without a fight.” 

oOoOoOo

The Queen and Allura had managed to come to an agreement about the karafian involvement and support of Voltron. Apparently, Shiro managing to break out of the fear room garnered respect amongst the people, though Allura still wasn’t fully convinced they could be trusted. She put aside her distrust for the sake of the war.

The kids, thankfully, hadn’t pressed Shiro too much about what he had seen. All but Keith had come to him saying that if he needed anything, they were there to help. Hunk cooked a nice meal since food could cure anything. Lance told some corny jokes. And Pidge managed to download some old movies for them to watch, with the paladins settling on Young Frankenstein. 

Everyone fell asleep while watching the movie. Everyone except Shiro and Keith that is. 

“What’d you see while you were in the room?” He was blunt about it, something that Shiro was actually kind of grateful for. He didn’t like being treated like glass.

“My worst fear,” Shiro kept his eyes focused on the screen. Pidge was tucked into his side and Lance and Hunk had managed to fall asleep in a heap on the floor. Keith was on his other side. Shiro really wanted to pull him into a tight hug, just to be sure that he was really alive. However, Keith had been distant since they got back and Shiro didn’t want to risk pushing him away. 

“That’s specific.” He sighed and laid his head on his shoulder. 

Shiro wrapped an arm around him. Yep, Keith was warm. It was a relief. 

“I’m not sure I’m ready to talk about it.”

“Was it your time as a prisoner?” Still so blunt. 

“Yeah, but it was also different. It was worse.” 

Keith sat up and looked at him. “How could it have been any worse?”

Shiro smiled sadly at him and reached up to brush some hair out of his face. His hair was really getting too long. Maybe Shiro could convince Lance to cut it. Keith would have to be asleep though. 

“It can always get worse.” 

Keith opened his mouth, but seemed to think better of it and closed it, laying back down with Shiro. He liked feeling his body rise and fall with his breath, a quiet heartbeat pressed into his torso. Shiro ran his fingers through his hair a few more times. 

“It’s okay, Shiro. I’m not going anywhere.” 

Shiro smiled and closed his eyes, finally feeling relaxed for the first time since he woke up in the fear room. He’d have to deal with this, sooner or later, but for now, this was enough. 

“Besides,” Keith added, “I’m not the one who keeps disappearing.” 

“Keith.” Shiro groaned. “We were having a moment.”

Keith pinched his side. “You’re being annoying and you know it.” 

Shiro cursed. Keith knew he was stuck, not wanting to wake up Pidge, Lance or Hunk. “You’re a brat and I hate you.” 

Keith snorted. “Sure you do.” 

Shiro smiled and settled back into the couch, letting his eyelids grow heavy. Yep, he really would take on the entire galra empire for this kid. His greatest fear was also his greatest source of strength. As long as he had someone to protect, he’d keep fighting.


End file.
